On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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