1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.