It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
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you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
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I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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