1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
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Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
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Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize