i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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