I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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