Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
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You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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