my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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