I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
