but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize