All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
