and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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