billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
