he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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