Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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