Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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