Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
