Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize