How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
