He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
