yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
