Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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