If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
