i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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