Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
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