Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
