We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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