There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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