I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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