sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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