You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
