Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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