Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM