I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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