She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
All the doctor said was why
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
