There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
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Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
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He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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