i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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