You made me cry and you don't even care
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
