# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.