dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was born a porn star she said
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
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thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.