i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...