dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.