my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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