i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize