i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
