I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize