I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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