yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
