Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
They have beer where we have blood.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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