I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.