i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart