Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET