how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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