are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
