Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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