your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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